Planning the Future of our Aging Parents
As the holiday season draws near we usually visit or hear from our parents. For many of us boomers, our parents may be getting up there in age and may require our help, no matter how we deny this.
People are living longer today than ever before, and the times are a changing:
•This is the first time in history that American couples have had more parents than children.
•Today, the average American woman can expect to spend 18 years caring for an older family member, compared to 17 years caring for her children.
•Almost 40% of all U.S. workers are more involved with caring for a parent instead of caring for a child.
If you realize the impact of these trends in your own family situation, may help you be able to react now, before your parents’ needs become more acute and you have to stop everything and take action as a reaction to a crises.
So, what is a person to do when he confronts the reality of his parents aging and their possibly needing more time and attention in his life?
The critical factor seems to be learning about your parents’ needs and wishes, and communicating with them and your siblings to set up an effective plan—before a crisis arrives.
It may be helpful to categorize these needs and wishes into several areas:
Personal Desires. Do your parents have strong feelings about being independent? How important is it for them to be close to friends versus close to family? Are there health concerns that might soon dictate their living location?
Housing Issues. Is it possible that they can stay in their home forever? What would be their choice place to live if they could no longer stay at home? Is it possible they could live with a family member? Have they thought about a retirement community or assisted living facility? What alternative is more appealing to them?
Trust Issues. As parents age, there will likely come a time when someone else will have to step in to make decisions in their behalf. Ask which of your siblings or relatives they would trust to take care of these issues. Perhaps they have some siblings or relatives that they don’t trust. Documents like living wills or power of attorney should be filled out and signed early and involve the people that your parents place their trust in. There is a family agreement form that can be downloaded for FREE at http://www.boomer-books.com that covers family agreements on taking care of an aging parent.
Legal Issues. Aging parents should make sure their legal affairs are in order and understood by the family. Or at least the family should have an idea of who the executor of the assets is, or who hold Power of Attorney. If those arrangements are being made or need to be made, now is the time.
Financial Issues. Spending some time understanding your parents’ financial status is critical at this point. Are all their insurance policies up to date? What are their monthly financial needs and how are these needs currently being met? If care for your parent needs to be increased to full-time, what are sources would be available to fund this need? Should this be something to worry about?
Healthcare Issues. Which health care providers are used by your parents? Who are their doctors and what are their phone numbers? What medications are they currently take? Do you have a list of them? Does your parent have a living will or other health care directives in place? If not, should they? You can find FREE forms to download to help with these at http://www.boomer-books.com and you can find step-by-step instructions on handling all of these issues in the book Helping Your Aging Parent at http://www.boomer-books.com/bookstore/bookstore_hyap.html