Visiting Aging Parents During Holidays
While visiting your aging parents during holidays, you may want to take a sharper notice of how they are getting along. Check for signs that may indicate they are slipping behind in life. While it may be hard to admit that your aging parent may need help, it is something that we all have to face sooner or later. Facing the problem of their need and getting past our own denial of that problem may be harder than forging ahead with actual solutions.
In order to help you play detective, and pssibly face up to your own denial of any problems, here are a few things to check for:
1. Are their bills being paid? Is there a stack of unpaid bills awaiting payment? Do they ask your help in deciphering an unpaid bill that they can’t understand?
2. Check their car. Are the tires full of air? Is the registration current? Has it been kept clean and tidy? Is it showing signs of neglect? Has it been driven?
3. How is their house kept? Are they keeping up the yard? Keeping up the yard is one of the hardest things for an older person to do, and generally the yard is the first to show signs of neglect.
4. Do they appear healthy? Are there recent injuries or visable bruises since your last visit? Are they mentally vital? Do they engage you in conversation, or do they ramble on repeating the same thing over and over?
5. Do they have hobbies that they enjoy such as painting, needlework, or sewing? Are they still active in these hobbies or have they given them up?
6. How does their physical health appear? Do they have shortness of breath? Is their skin a normal tone? Do they have a new cough? Are their ankles swollen?
Older people are less inclined to make a doctor appointment for common ailments that you and I wouldn’t hesitate on. Visiting the doctor becomes more of a hassle as you grow older.
To download a parent health evaluation checklist in Adobe Acrobat click
here.
Other forms you can download for helping your aging parent can be found for FREE at
http://www.Boomer-books
The holidays are usually the time of the year when we see our aging parents once again. Make sure that you’re not seeing your parent’s mental or physical health through glasses of denial. If you notice signs of decline in your parent, inform and rally your siblings to help you. There is action to take, and decisions to be made. An aging parent seldom gets better on their own—they need your help.
December 4th, 2007 at 9:25 am
I appreciate this post. As an only child the responsibility of visiting my mom rests on me. I think it is a healthy thing to communicate with family members when the decline of an aging parent is noticed. You are so right about looking with eyes of denial. We just do not want to see our parents grow old and towards helplessness. We want to remember them as strong when we were being raised by them.
What a precious gift they are.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Hi Rosie,
Thank you for posting a response. I’m glad to hear that I wasn’t the only one who was seeing my parent’s decline through the eyes of denial. It sure becomes hard to wake up to the fact that you are the one in charge of their welfare. I’m not quite sure that they accept it fully either.
I hope that you can use the forms posted on http://www.boomer-books.com and please keep posting with anything you learn that can help others help care for their aging parents—especially during the stresses of the holiday season.
—Bill